I’ve tried a Samsung Galaxy S20+ just to be able to have Tesco Mobile again. Here are my experiences so far….

Firstly, this thing was a total fucking ARSE to set up. Whereas I was all finished transferring my data and apps across from my Sony to my Asus Zenfone 6 Edition 30 in around 15 minutes or so, when I tried to do the same thing from the Zenfone to my Samsung, I was still waiting HOURS later for ANY app or game to fucking download.

Turned out that eventually, after wondering what the fucking hell was going on, after I updated the phone itself (i.e. I would assume a large Android update) they then suddenly started. I do not recall having to do this with my Zenfone. It just worked. That’s why they call it a “Zen”fone…

Then next, once I finally started being able to set it up (and I wasn’t going to do that until my games and apps had downloaded), I was perplexed to discover that the ‘back’ button and the minimise active apps button at the bottom of the screen have been switched around. WHY?????

Then came the in-screen fingerprint sensor. This took me a good while to set up versus the standard phone body one that the Zenfone uses. But that’s okay, for it is much more sophisticated, isn’t it…….

It takes 3 to 6 attempts, every single fucking time, to recognise me – no matter which of the 4 prints I’ve saved that I choose to use. Versus unlocking first time, almost every single time in an instant with the Zenfone one (handful of exceptions as my hands were slightly wet when I tried at times).

Then there was the alarm setting. Oh what a fucking joy that was. I eventually managed to alter the time on it – after having accidentally exited the fucking settings about 4 times. Because I’m “not used to Samsung”…? No, because the design was so fucking un-intuitive.

Then there was the fact I was being forced to look at the fucking Spotify logo – just for having the audacity to want to select an alarm tune. Many of the Samsung ones were actually really nice. But with every up there’s just another crushing back down – there seemed to be no way to make the alarm fade-in to wake you up. Who wants to be blasted at full volume from second 1?! I know I’m a masochist but even I have my limits.

Then there was the fact this thing was getting hot – VERY hot, whilst using an app. What was this app, you may be asking. Asphalt 9…? Fortnite on max settings for a couple hours solid…? It was WhatsApp. Fucking WHATSAPP. Please tell me what competent, solidly engineered phone starts overheating using WhatsApp??? And no, no photos, nor videos. Just words. Astonishing.

And don’t make me pull up any one of the ENDLESS fucking dumbarse, tech illiterates out there fawning all over that “AWESOME OLED screen!!!”. I’ve now seen that “awesome” screen right next to my Zenfone’s LCD, IPS screen. There is virtually NO..DIFFERENCE. Yes, yes….try to take that one in. Try to get past people currently spitting out their Mocha in horror and disbelief at such a claim. These people clearly have not seen the Zenfone 6 IPS screen right next to a Samsung Galaxy S20+ screen. Because as angles go, I am telling you there is virtually no fucking difference. Oh sure the Samsung does go a bit brighter – retina burning brighter. Not entirely sure what the benefit of that is other than to say “well mine goes brighter than your one!!”. Keep it – I could not give a fuck. IPS is perfectly beautiful enough for me.

In the time since I started writing this, I’ve swapped my SIM card and Micro SD card back to my Zenfone.

It is a source of endless frustration to me that nowhere even close to enough people actually know just how fucking competent ASUS actually are. I’ve just demonstrated not just the one but several somewhat important, I reckon, elements that Samsung failed pathetically on compared to ASUS. But ohhh no, the marketing budget, and mass conditioning (not in the sinister conspiracy nut type way, I’m talking of the innocuous version of that word here) that “ohh, well it’s obviously GOT to be Samsung if you’re wanting an Android, or else just an Iphone, obviously” will just keep things just the way they are. Yep, “here’s your annual incremental, totally uninspiring spec upgrades, consumers. And you will buy another one, no question”.

Take a FUCKING chance people, you might just be surprised. I’ve e-mailed the site about how possible a refund might be……