Many Memories, Much Mud

Fuck it, I’m going to get this DLC (that really should have been part of the base game). I’ll try and find a better price as I’m loathed to pay that much for DLC, not least as Dirt 5 is just a few months away.

But Colin’s Subaru is something really special to me. I have owned and played every single Codemasters rally game and started off with Colin McRae Rally – when he was still alive, of course. I have great memories of what at the time was a stunning game after the blocky, not altogether immersive stuff we’ve had before it. I always wanted to drive the blue Subaru in the game.

I’ve even SEEN that very Subaru that Colin drove!! And here’s the proof:

That was at one of the last London Motor Shows – 2015, at the Excel Centre, London. I think the sign said it had been restored, which was a bit of a downer to me, I wanted to see it scrapes, bashes and all. But it did, of course, make me very happy that it’s being looked after by someone and still cared for. Are you jealous, Abzhuofficial. ☺️

UK Social Justice “Slavery bad” Warriors on Wikipedia for the next few weeks

Since, you know, lockdown, and these muppets have fuck-all else to do – like something productive, and useful, for example…..

Furthermore, perhaps one of you fucknuts can enlighten me, just what exact DIFFERENCE does a statue standing around somewhere actually have on your life, day to day??

Are you having some sort of mental breakdown every time you think of Cecil Rhodes…? Half of you dappy idiots don’t even know who he IS, DO you….

This fact kind of underlines the utter stupidity of what these people are doing. And comparing it to the toppling of the Saddam statue is utterly ridiculous. Correct me if I’m getting my facts wrong here, although I realise facts are terribly inconvenient for you a great deal of the time, but was Saddam Hussein around for 200 years….? He had those statues of himself installed…HIMSELF. Not by this thing called “common consent”. Yes yes, I do know “WELL NO DESCENDANT OF SLAVES ASKED FOR A STATUE OF CECIL RHODES TO GO UP!!!!!!!!!!“. Nnno, and equally I didn’t get asked if I wanted a statue of the somewhat overrated drugged up alco Amy Winehouse to go up in Camden but it’s there.

These are fucking ARTWORK in many cases. Fine, intricate artwork from a very long time ago. Do sculptor’s lives matter to you….? And where exactly are you planning to draw the line here? Because sorry to break this to you here but the UK was being colonised WAY before Africa was by the UK. Ah yes that little Roman invasion in 55BC. I don’t see you calling for famous Italian statues to be torn down…? Sorry, when was your planned demonstration outside of the Italian Embassy in London, again…? Cos you know, I think us poor colonised Englanders need a little reparation here. Ohh….oh, sorry you don’t know anyone directly affected by what happened in 55BC?? Well GUESS WHAT – I don’t know anyone affected by slavery 200 years ago!!

So where exactly are you planning on drawing your line here with your “every part of history I don’t like is to be destroyed” mantra?? Just so, you know, we’re all aware of the time limits….

“I WILL NOT STAND for this RACISM!!!!…”

…..”but let me just appear in 200 episodes of Hollyoaks as part of my reparations”. Well done there for really making a stand, Rachel Adedeji. Were you sticking around ‘just to make sure’ everything was definitely all racist and stuff..?

It’s funny that bit where she claims a make-up artist said “all black people look the same”. My colleague at work also told me “well all black people look the same don’t they”. Do you know what race he is…….? THAT’S RIGHT KIDZ, HE’S BLACK!! His mum is from Jamaica, so he has this weird Jamaican/Manchester hybrid accent. I would imagine the make-up artist’s comment was roughly as innocuous as my colleague’s, but no, OHHHH NO it could never have been could it, it’s RACISM, COS EVERYONE RACIST!!!!

Another Conspiracy Too Far…

This shit is hilarious. OH IT’S DEFINITELY DAVID BOWIE AFTER FAKING HIS OWN DEATH!!! Yeah um….never mind the dilated pupil has er…’healed’…? Never mind the mouth is wrong because David’s bottom lip never curled like that. Never mind the man is clearly of much larger build/bulk than David, never mind the only similarity to their voice is that they’re both English, NO NEVER MIND ALL THAT STUFF, THEY LOOK VAGUELY THE SAME, SO IT’S DEFINITELY DAVID BOWIE!!!!

There’s people in the comments section un-ironically TELLING you that’s actually David Bowie….fucking christ.

No irony

I fucking love Tesco!! Right now going there has been a miserable experience rather than my usual happy one. But I can still show my support!!

It’d be funny if Tesco took legal action for using their copyrighted logo but I don’t imagine that they will. Funny because Tesco don’t actually DO Tesco t-shirts. They actually don’t do ANY “Tesco” branded merchandise at all.

Meanwhile over on Walmart: hands up who thinks these are mostly being bought by women. For themselves.

Jeff Bezos ‘happy to lose’ customers over Black Lives Matter message | Fox Business

*insert slow hand clap*

Maybe instead of giving $10 million to these erroneous “organisations that are working to bring about social justice” (which invariably involves buying 300 cans of spray paint and some banners), how about taking a financial hit eliminating zero hours contracts, paying the correct corporate tax rate for the country that you operate in, and oh, you know I’m going to say it: not killing your own staff. Yeah Jeffrey – that might have a bit more long term worth than jumping aboard the current virtue signalling bandwagon to make out you’re ohhh so on-trend. Go fuck yourselves, Amazon.


Here’s the coolest .gif I found tonight! Look at that smile fade right at the end haha. Old Princey didn’t much like having his photo taken, eh? Despite errr constantly making all those “I am a sex god” poses on a constant basis! Nah, despite all appearances and in my opinion a fucking flawless appearance, I don’t think Prince all in all rated himself that highly in looks. I am basing this entirely on a lyric from “Lady Cab Driver” on his “1999” album that went “this is for why I wasn’t born like my brother – handsome and tall”. He probably did grow in confidence over the years into acceptance. But acceptance is all I’ve ended up with after 4 decades. You just learn to deal with what you’ve been given. And in the end, he was merely human like the rest of us.

Prince, 1988