2021 The Zenfone the Year Forgot

I honestly think the Zenfone 8 was one of the most forgettable Zenfones ASUS will have ever made. Yes it was back to handheld, one handed typeability – that is undeniably a good thing. But sadly that was the only good thing. Next to the Zenfone 8 Flip (itself actually a downgrade from the Zenfone 7 – as there was no “pro” variant and the OIS was missing from the sole Zenfone 8 Flip) all people must surely have been thinking was “oh and that’s a compact version”.

That’s a problem when that’s ALL people were thinking – not realising the “compact version” had a 120hz display over the mere 90hz of the Zenfone 8 Flip – again, another let down. Also check the camera. Why would you ever want to try a phone with 1 less lens than the other one in the exact same line up? Not least when that lens looks for all the world like a bolted on lens system as used in the Zenfone 6 – a phone released 2 years earlier.

Those were bizarre decisions to me.

The Zenfone 9, which launches tomorrow, looks different. No, it does not look like a Huawei – that one has multiple lenses. It doesn’t look like what ASUS have released before, and that’s the critical factor in my view. ASUS have a great balance between “stock Android”, which isn’t a plus point, but is all “tech journalists” bang on about in their clueless “Pros” listings, and using its own, usually superior software and apps – and, one of the most important things for me personally, still maintaining their own Gallery app for your photos, so you’re not just forced to use fucking Google Photos and end up being railroaded into paying for more space for those of us who can’t be bothered to keep checking we aren’t running out of storage space for our pictures.

By the looks of it it also won’t have wireless charging which again is a massive plus point. I’ve never really understood the point, or use, in “wireless charging”. For one, there is no such thing as “wireless charging”. What’s that thing you need to plug into the base called again….? A jire….? A gire….? A bire…..? So shut the fuck up about “wireless”. For another thing it’s too slow. “Oh but I can leave it charging overnight Stephen”. Yes, and so can I, you muppet, and it has been confirmed in tests to stop charging when it reaches 90%. And finally on that front, “oh it’s really handy for when you break the wired charger cable/charge port though”. What??? My charger is in exactly the same condition as the day I bought it, and the charging port looks exactly the same as the day I took the shrink wrap off the phone box. What the fuck are you doing to YOUR charger cables and ports??

If ASUS haven’t screwed up the charging again (you could ONLY charge the Zenfone 8 with an ASUS adaptor – it even killed my 10,000mAh power bank!!) then this will be a great phone in their history.