Yesterday I went and did parcel delivery for the first time in weeks. And it was a big achievement. The night before I was umming and erring over whether to go do it. I KNOW I need another £60 extra in my pay this week. That part isn’t hard to work out. Equally, I knew that last Sunday, when I also could have gone back, as I was sat around in my flat, I happened to look at the clock on the wall and it was already 1:25 – and I knew I’d have been back home by that time anyway – yet having been paid money. But I also just wanted to rest and hide from the world.
I had to force myself out of bed. And after my bath, and being ready to go, I had to force myself out of my flat. At the last roundabout before the depot I almost turned my car around and went back home. But I ploughed on. And I’m glad I did…
The manager, who is this very old school bloke (that’s something 20 year olds turn into “hateful misogynist”) told me “Now, I want you to behave yourself today…” I thought “ooookay wtf is coming”, and he continued “cos I’m going to pair you up with Chloe here”. Chloe just happens to be the prettiest young University student with a body you’d probably cut off your…..left arm to fuck, but hey – it’s just me!! Anyway we got chatting away whilst scanning our parcels, then AG (his actual name is a mystery – everyone there just calls him AG) strolls up and says hello to me again. It was so good to see that man after weeks away. Then along came Mr Misery. I don’t even KNOW the name of Mr Misery, all I know he is a miserable fucking grumpy git ALL THE FUCKING TIME, WEEK IN, WEEK OUT!!!!! No matter HOW civil I am towards him, and I am, he is STILL fucking grumpy as hell towards me, and never civil back. Anyway, the best part was that the ONLY time I’ve EVER seen him not being a grumpy, miserable git is when he starts talking to Chloe. And ohhhh did he not like seeing us 2 chatting away!! 🤣 When I came back a little later once everyone else on delivery had left, to try and flush the filter of the van engine (you have to leave it running for about 10 to 15 minutes) he was there going back and forth with the mail cages and he not only didn’t say hello, or even question what I was doing (he normally would), he didn’t even acknowledge I was there – never looked at me, acted as though I was invisible. That’s MY kind of fucking justice in action.
And before I left to deliver, Abu came on over to me and told me “I just want to say to you, I am very happy with your work, and all that you do on Collections” and that “if I had my time again, I would choose to hire you again – I would make exactly the same decision again”. He also claimed that “everybody there likes you”. Woah. This hit me hard! It’s only just sunk in a day after. I can only ever guess what anyone thinks about me at work, and just hope for the best, and try my best. But to actually be told that outright, out of the blue….that was something else.
So in the end it turned out more than alright – bearing in mind my little get back against Mr Permanently Grumpy there.
And after all of that, I rewarded myself for hauling my arse in, by walking into town and getting a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese. And ohhh my god was that a good one. The beef was so moist, and piping hot – they’d clearly made it there and then, not just grabbed me a pre-made one. It’s easy to tell the difference.
What a difference forcing yourself can make. But I still don’t overly know what the fuck was bringing me down the night before all that.