Infinity Wars

My newsfeed is currently going mental with Zenfone 8 popping up from multiple sources, each clamouring like greedy newborn chicks in a nest going “READ ME!! READ ME!! WE HAVE THE BESTEST REVIEW!! WE GOT OUR SAMPLE PHONE RIGHT HERE!! LOOK!!”

All of them can fuck off. I know what the specs are, I know ASUS are more than capable of making a great phone. I don’t need to read your “look at me! I got the new Zenfone way before you are able to buy one! And despite the fact the software will be updated the week of release I’m still going to base all my photo results off of my preview model!” drivel.

I also know there will be people scrabbling around to find anything to whine about the next ASUS phone. Wireless charging will be one of them. Cos you know, a phone just isn’t worth my money unless I can charge it really, really slowly with a wired charger that I put the phone on top of (so you see right there – I’ve just educated you to the fact that there is no such thing as “wireless charging”).

Others will probably be all “but…but…the chin is 0.03mm thicker than on the Samsung”. 🤡 You fucking pillocks. Go run along to your underwhelming, overpriced Samsung then – safe in the knowledge that you will never be in any danger of standing out from the masses.