Okay this thing was actually tasty (if overpriced) but for fuck sake…..

Sorry, what’s cheeky about tikka sauce?? Yes I really want you pretentious twats to tell me, how is tikka sauce “cheeky”. Of course, they write out this fucking garbage safe in the knowledge that anyone on twitter who should dare to ask them that is immediately slapped down with “you must be fun at parties”. A line which, ironically enough, is always uttered by those who absolutely no one wants anywhere near their parties. Classic projection once again.
Then there is the reverse – equally fucking cack:

Oh it’s always “street food” isn’t it. Cos of course as we all know, no restaurant ever makes naan bread. No, oh no, those things are just mere “street food”. Just cos we’re being so ‘on-trend’ here.
Jesus just describe what’s in the fucking thing would you and stop trying to sound as trendy, youthful and ‘down wid da kidz innit’ as possible, because it’s fucking painful.