I basically blew my first night off with a combination of dozing off, watching The Chase and pootling on my PC. And I don’t give a fuck!! Why punish yourself for doing nothing harmful.
I did practice a little self-preservation though. I composed a very long WhatsApp message to someone I’ve known for the past 3 or 4 years. Then I blocked her. This is because I am sick and tired of her flipping out on me, coming out with the most bizarre, often very spiteful shit, then going “oh, yeah sorry, help me be better”. You don’t need my fucking HELP, you need to stop fucking doing it. This “couldn’t help it cos anxiety” line yes could vaguely work in person. But over WhatsApp….? You have to think of a message, compose a message, then tap to send a message. That’s a 3 stage process. You’re claiming at no point could you have halted yourself at any one of those stages….Bullshit.
She did want to know where this site was and thank god I didn’t tell her. She was one of those friends that’s so suffocating that I had to actually find and download a note taking app to my phone and compose it there, and copy and paste it into WhatsApp, because if I hadn’t done that she’d have seen me online on it and sent me even more messages. She claims she is actually busy. Yet what “busy” person has the time to sit there and constantly check that one of their contacts is online on WhatsApp, and ‘coincidentally’ every time they are send yet another message, even though you’ve not even got to reading the last 3 to 5. It’s too fucking much.
There is a lot more to this story but I’m not going to say any more. I really don’t need my lackeys telling me “ohh, you got this Stephen, she wasn’t worth it”. Self sufficiency is a really strong asset in such a fickle fucking world.
Time for my bed!!